As her pants drop to the floor she stands in front of me naked. She giggles & biting her lip she pulls me closer. I smell everything, see everything and feel everything as our bodies connect. A single bead of sweat runs down her neck and between her breasts.
This feels raw, this feels real, I am hard & she is wet. Our lips connect and we fall into a passionate embrace, her hands run down my side sending shivers of pure pleasure across my body. Something primal controls me now!
I run my hands down her back, digging in slightly. She moans, she enjoys it? She wants me to take control! So I oblige. My left hand runs down her back and settles below her waist. I wrap one hand around her body and lift her to my waist, we connect as her legs cinch around my lower back.
I walk towards the bed and pulling her hair back slightly I kiss her neck, she moans again. The muscles in my right arm strain and flex as I lower her beautiful body to the bed below. In front of my eyes lies a beautiful Latino girl, aroused and excited she is completely comfortable with her own body.
She giggles again as she strokes my shaft. Her eyes drift south and she opens her legs willing me to explore further. I make my way down her body kissing gently as I pass her breasts and settle at the junction of her thighs.
After a time she grabs my head and lifts me. With surprising power she flips me on my back, “My Turn.” She says with authority in her sexy Portuguese accent. I couldn’t be more turned on.. she can tell.
The next 3 hours are a blur of pleasure, arousal and pure ecstasy. We try new things, we explore, we f*ck up, we laugh and we cry out in pleasure. This feels raw, this feels real, this is sex as it should be.
This was not how sex used to be for me & chances are it is not how it is for you. Let me begin by asking you a question and I plead that you answer honestly. Is your sex life sh*t?
Lads! Porn is killing your sex life! Ladies you are not exempt, porn is a highly addictive drug that afflicts more people than cigarettes. Billions of searches for porn are recorded every year! Porn sites attract more visitors each year than Amazon, Netflix & Twitter combined. (Psychology Today: Dueling Statistics, 2016) So What?
What’s wrong with a little porn addiction?
Well lot’s actually but in this blog we cover just three reasons why porn is killing your sex life & destroying your relationships.
Porn Destroys Your Perception of Real Sex
Sex is natural and normal. We should all be completely comfortable saying that we enjoy sex. It is not wrong if you want to have sex or if you want to experiment with whoever you are comfortable with. It’s OK to experiment with fantasies or multiple partners.
If you want to get tied up and whipped f*cking go for it! If you are gay then embrace it! If threesomes and orgies are your jam then schedule them with consenting adults after the same pleasurable experience. Sex is raw, sex is weird but sex is beautiful and 100% normal. Porn is not.
If you consider porn to be a realistic depiction of sex then you are already deep in the spiders web. Make no mistake… Porn is a product designed to make money off your addiction. Driving traffic to pornography sites allows porn moguls to pocket a tidy amount of money so it is in their best interest to “dress up” their products (fightthenewdrug.org: Let’s talk about porn, June 2018)
A typical porn movie is comprised of actors, a basic storyline, makeup, plastic surgery, crazy camera angles and great lighting. A typical storyline might look something like this;
The wife leaves the husband to mind the house while the maid cleans. The maid get’s caught masturbating in the husbands bed, they f*ck, get caught & have a threesome. The climax is of course, a super close up shot of the guy blowing his load all over the faces of both woman… once he is done they kiss passionately.. because that’s 100% normal right?
The movie is filmed over multiple days and then edited to appear as one smooth 30 minute scene. Blemishes are removed, colours are adjusted and the final product is made to look as “dressed up” as possible for the millions of consumers.
Porn is a lie that is destroying your sex life and turning you into a terrible lover! Guys your ego’s are going to hate hearing this but 99% of what you do in the bedroom is NOT enjoyed by females. “But… porn tells me that whatever I do with my dick the chicks will love!”… bullsh*t!
Most of what you see in porn is degrading, painful, violent and not even slightly pleasurable for woman. All those times you think you are crushing it in the bedroom.. sad to say bro.. she’s faking it!
Only 25% of woman are constantly orgasmic during vaginal sex (Psychology Today: The most important sexual statistics). That means up to 75% of the time… she’s faking it bro!
Ladies don’t think you are not part of the problem, stop faking it and start being honest. His ego might be bruised but a great sexual relationship requires an open and honest line of communication. Tell him what turns you on and stop trying to save his feelings with a well timed moan.
Porn is not real sex and if you continue to indulge in your addiction to porn you will ruin the real thing.
You might enjoy - 5 Lessons Learnt from an Abusive Childhood.
Watching Porn Will Destroy Your Sex Life
Let me give you some context; I (Jacques Massie) was addicted to porn! My addiction to porn was a massive contributor to the failure of my last major relationship. It got so bad that I would actually choose porn over the real thing. At one point I didn’t have sex with my partner at the time for 6 months!! We lived together! WTF!
The world is in the midst of an epidemic! Doctors are seeing a drastic increase in the number of men suffering from ‘sexual anorexia(Healthline: Can Porn induce erectile dysfunction).’ A form of erectile dysfunction caused directly by porn.
No porn is not some monster that reaches out from the laptop and curses your dick with ‘sexual anorexia.’ You jerking off constantly to porn is what causes your ‘sexual anorexia.’ The exotic scenes, stunning fake tits & incredible orgasms makes the real deal seem.. well.. pretty f*cking boring!
Studies continue to indicate that porn addiction leads to less arousal, less sex and is a significant contributor to failed relationships (fightthenewdrug.org: Let’s talk about porn, June 2018). Porn leads to low sex drive, erectile dysfunction & poor sexual performance. Regular porn users actually find it easier to get off on the fake sh*t than with a real sexual partner. I know I did!
Watching porn as a teen or young adult is especially dangerous. Your brain is incredibly vulnerable to re-wiring and an early porn addiction might completely put you off the real thing. You may just end up like the ‘40 Year Old Virgin.’
Porn Could Destroy Your Relationship
56% of all divorces are tied to one or both partners having an addiction to porn (Psychology Today: Duelling Statistics, 2016). 56 percent!! That’s insane!
We just talked about the effects of porn on your sex game. Great sex is of course a huge part of maintaining a healthy relationship but porn has other side effects. Porn users who are currently in a relationship be honest. Do you constantly find yourself comparing your partner to the actors you see in porn?
Porn users find their partners less attractive, have less desire to engage on a sexual level & fall out of love with their partners as their use continues. Why does porn ruin your relationship?
It all comes down to expectations & entitlement. As we watch more porn our relationship expectations change. We see what the fictional characters have sexually & emotionally and we feel as if we are entitled to the same level of fulfilment.
‘Bro!! That sh*t is fake! They are actors!’
Easy to say but much harder to believe when you are in the throws of addiction.
Porn use can fuel anxiety and depression in users which can directly effect the functionality of your relationship. Your anxiety will lead to jealousy and a constant worry that your partner may just be that same cheating wife that you watched in last nights porno.
You will find yourself bringing up the past as your depression fuels uglier arguments and a hatred for your partners past actions. Issues that you had considered resolved will blow up again leaving your partner feeling attacked and self conscious.
If all that is not enough, porn use destroys your sex life! A poor sex life can ruin a relationship by itself or worse.. you might be convinced to cheat on your partner like I did.
See Also - Why do we Cheat?
This might be hard for a lot of you to take in, especially if you are a male currently hooked on porn. Ignore your ego and ask yourself these questions;
-Why did you read the whole blog?
-Is it your Ego that thinks this blog is bullsh*t?
-Is Porn a problem in your sex life?
Might be time to confront your addiction to porn my friend.
If you have got to the end of this blog & realised some serious truths about yourself, your partner or your relationship then I urge you to consider giving up or at least reducing your/your partners dependance on porn.
I used to be incredibly self conscious about my body & my sex life felt like a wet blanket! Since giving up porn 6 months ago I have had better sex than ever before and I have never felt happier with the body I have! Be open, stay humble and give up the DAMN PORN BRO!
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Paulo & Jacques