Wow! I fail a shit load!
I sat down for lunch the other day with a friend and mentor of mine. The subtle notes of beer and battered fish struck my nose as I sat down at my assigned table. The waitress skittered about from patron to patron, it was lunch time in the city and this quaint little pub fell in step with the hustle and bustle of the Melbourne rat race. I took those 5 minutes, as I waited for my friend, to just be present and take in the atmosphere of The Sherlock Holmes Pub.
My eyes followed a rustic wooden beam darting between paintings of wooden ships, I found myself enjoying the peace that accompanied the chaos of a mid city lunch rush. I locked eyes with my friend, we greeted each other, talked a bit of shit and began the pleasurable task of catching up. The conversation darted between work, family and personal pursuits. I was thrilled to hear that my friend and his partner were making progress with their personal goals. They were living their lives purposefully driven towards their ever-evolving north star.
As the conversation turned towards my life, my friend pointed out that during his social media scrolling he had noticed that ‘Massie Bros’ had just hit it’s one year anniversary. ‘Fuck! Really!’ It had been one year already. The conversation naturally evolved toward updates on our progress, strangely my first words were in regards to how much(or how little) money we had earned over the year.
I checked myself at this point, time seemed to freeze while I asked myself a rather important series of questions:
-Is money really the main motivator?
-Had I achieved any of the goals for Massie Bros throughout the year?
-I had failed a shit load throughout year one. Was this a bad thing?
-Should I just quit now?
I Can’t Wait to Lose Again
Alright settle down! Firstly, there is no chance we will be quitting this journey unless a cracked out homeless man decides it’s time for a bit of stabbing action. I mean, there is a chance of that happening. There is also the possibility of a tiny meteor crashing into my head while I giggle at the neighbours sausage dog trying to run. Seriously, sausage dogs are fucking hilarious! Both of these eventualities are very unlikely to take place, so are we quitting? Fuck no!
The other questions fell quickly, if money was the motivator we would have definitely quit by now. Massie Bros made about $2000 over the year, our expenses… roughly $25,000, and that’s excluding travel costs. Financially we achieved none of our goals. We failed hard!
I suppose at this point I should be feeling pretty fucking down, right? Shouldn’t I be finding a real career? Shouldn’t I follow the advice of my teachers and fall into a rat race that only brings me pleasure on retirement day? What is the point of working while all my friends are partying, fucking and enjoying the pleasures of first world living?
“In reality I feel better than ever. Loss had a huge role to play in my current mindset.”
Losing provides opportunity for growth. Losing invokes learning. Losing is the best way to discover winning. Losing can help you discover the right path for you. Losing is what I crave more than anything else!
Every loss that we accumulated throughout the year brought Paulo and I closer to our true paths, our purpose. In the beginning we had grand ideas of what we wanted to become and what we would do to get there. Each time we encountered failure we were forced to reassess our path. Do I truly want to achieve this specific goal? Is this actually what I enjoy? Is this purposeful, meaningful work?
Along the way I discovered writing, I am now 40 pages into writing my first book! Without failure, I probably would have never discovered my love for writing. I suck at video editing, so I replaced that time with writing. Boom! A much more purposeful pursuit was born. My writing sucked at first, it still does, but I realise that I need to be putting out shitty work. I need to lose!
Paulo’s journey was different, he encountered a lot of failure in his personal life, but he needed those fuck ups! Now, his passion for video editing has been re-ignited! Massie Bros is back on track, the videos are getting better and better every month!
You see? We all need to lose! So why do so many of us fear it?
Stop Being So Fucking Delicate!
It’s not your fault that your soft! You have been brought up by soft parents who only want their child to be treated like little angels, floating on soft white clouds, surrounded by attractive people and a plethora of unrealistic opportunities. You have been brought up to face a reality that is nothing like what you were promised as a child. Now it’s time to fucking deal with it!
True, it is not your fault that you were brought up to face a world of opportunity, only to find yourself stuck in a looping nightmare of failure. However, it is time to shoulder the responsibility and face the facts. The world is not how you dreamt it would be, you are failing a lot and nothing is going to plan. Stop being so fucking delicate and embrace it.
Every failure, every loss, every embarrassing moment can be used in one of two ways:
Take the moment to heart, stop trying and except that your parents lied to you… Life Sucks!
Allow yourself to feel a little upset, process what has happened, and treat this failure as a gift. Losing is fucking awesome! Losing allows you to learn lessons that you would have been oblivious to before.
How do you think LeBron made it to the top? How do you think Keanu Reeves found the success he did? Do you think J.K Rowling had a steady stream of success on the road to writing Harry Potter? Do you honestly believe that Cardi B went from the Bronx to Hip Hop sensation without a single loss? Failure is the true hero of every success story. Everyone has failure and loss in their life. Stop thinking you have it so bad, use these nuggets of wisdom for what they are - Opportunity!
The Greatest Opportunity is Loss
Success is great.
You love to win, right? The release of chemicals in our brains tells us that winning is pleasurable, so we constantly seek out success. What is the greatest opportunity for success? Failure. Think about it, we all start out as failures, the road to success is littered with loss.
Two years ago I was sitting, smack bang, at rock bottom. I had lost so much in such a short period of time, so accustomed to winning, I only saw a future of depression and sadness. Slowly I began to lift the foggy layers of sadness, hidden beneath all of that loss was the greatest opportunity of my life.
A chance to once again be me! A chance to pursue a creative path that fulfilled my soul! A chance to influence others in a positive way! A chance to once again live my life with purpose! Two years down the track and I am still losing, a shit load! However, my actions are purposeful now. Every loss I experience is just another opportunity to grow and improve my process.
As I write these words, my mind drifts to my next project. At 20,000 words, my book is far from complete. When it is complete, the chances are high that it will flop. Critics will point out many failures, publishers won’t be interested and sales will hit all time lows. Why? Why am I spending so much time writing a book that will most likely fail? Opportunity! In order to publish a successful series of books, I must first publish a successful series of failures!
Crave Loss! Without loss there will be no true success. Without loss you will find no opportunity. Without loss, life is pretty fucking boring!
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